Let me take you back to 2010… Why 2010? Because on this year in which my scarred lesson, struggle and journey I encountered followed me for many years, even maybe today I would say I’ve had issues because of things that happened that year.
Don’t get me wrong, that year wasn’t entirely bad. I graduated high school! I struggled a bit to do so because I hung out with the wrong crowd my freshman year and owed a lot of credits my senior but hey, I made it!! The day that’s suppose to be the happiest, the day I’m suppose to celebrate that accomplishment… That day turned out to be full of anger, tears, sadness. Thanks to the one man who admired the most, one I wanted my future husband to mirror, my dad. I remember all the harsh things he told me that day… Commenting how he didn’t expect me to graduate, how shocked he was, he didn’t even want to help me pay for the college application because he said it would be a waste of money… {Imagine hearing this from a man who was your world. I was the ultimate daddy’s girl! I was his twin, his “tail” lol where he went I was right there.} This came out of no where! He wasn’t like that towards me. My dad and I had inseparable bond. I remember crying so much that day, my mom was furious at him, i couldn’t believe that he would choose the day of my graduation to make me feel that way.
As time went on our relationship began to slowly diminish…I forgave him for it when he apologized but forgetting is a whole other story.
A few months later I caught my dad cheating… My DAD, the man who was my world, I use to hold that man on the highest pedestal. Smh. A 24 year marriage down the drain. After months of hiding it from my family and being the only person to know, it destroyed me, I struggled through depression, was seeing a therapist to help me, and he would sit there like nothing was wrong, and I dealt with all the guilt as if I was the one cheating… After everything hit the fan, him and my mom separated. The amount of shit we had to deal with once he left, is unimaginable. And to top it all off, you would think he just separated from my mom but he actually left us all in the past with my mom. He disappeared, you would think that when parents separate they would do what they can to still be in the children’s life, right? Wrong!
I learned so many lessons since the day he left. 1. Don’t put a person through all that pain of being with someone else while with them… Put yourself in their shoes… Would you like it?
2. Honesty is the key, even if it hurts, the lying game makes things worse.
3. My mom showed us strength. I learned to never depend on a man for anything. Learned to be as independent as I possible can.
I struggled so much with this. To this day it still bothers me, I still deal with trust issues with men because of this.
But I learned my lessons, I struggle with it and I realized after a while it was just apart of my journey, so I can become a better me and know do’s and don’t!
MY LIFE LESSONS 